Saturday, July 25, 2009


You Stay Here While I Swim and Get Us Some Universal Health Care

Special Guest Commentary
by Senator Edward M. Kennedy (D-MA)

The statistics are sobering: the cost of American health care is rising almost as fast as the cold, briny water bubbling up from our floorboards. So far we have already lost the 8-track player and several Vic Damone tapes, and if allowed to continue these trends threaten to engulf all of us within the Oldsmobile. We must quickly wake up and face the facts: inaction is no longer an option. That is why it is critical for the future of all the occupants that one of us swim off and get us some kind of free health care program. I nominate me.

Why me, you ask? As I explained to you back at the party, I am passionate about many things. Politics, sailing, the art of Leroy Niemann, Dewar's, my etchings. And let's not forget that sweet tight body of yours, which I must say looks stunning in the watery glow of the dashboard lights. But did I also mention my passion for universal heath care? Hey Baby, ol' Teddy Bear is all about that. As the Conscience of the Senate, I have led the fight to win comprehensive national medical benefits for you and other vulnerable Boiler Room Girls who have been denied coverage by their heartless employers. I fervently believe we're all on this boat together. Okay, Oldsmobile. Now, if you'll just let go of my arm, I'll make a break for it and continue the fight for your health care rights back at my lawyer's office.

Iowahawk! (Who else could it be?) READ THE REST!!!

UPDATE: The incomparable Milton Friedman on socialized medicine.

Thanks to the also incomparable baldilocks.


Carin said...

I saw that. He's a hoot.

Gnus said...

Nobody brings the snark quite like Iowahawk.

How ya doin', Felix?

iamfelix said...

He is so funny -- everyone talks about "spew alerts" but seldom are they more necessary than with Iowahawk (the one that got me here was "...which I must say looks stunning in the watery glow of the dashboard lights.")

I'm doing okay, Gnus -- and you? I'm trying to pack to move. God, how I hate moving.